Tuesday, July 9, 2013
IMG 1216 from Kieren Moriarty on Vimeo.
WALT choose words that describe a moment (in an exciting way) for the reader
YOUR SIGNS OF SUCCESS
begins in the action
present tense (I am, not I was)
short, sharp sentences
uses the senses
language features (simile, alliteration, onomatopoeia, metaphor)
show personality (sounds like you, humour, feelings, exaggeration
“Get a move on!” yelled Josh. Man, Josh is impatient. I am trying my best to swing around this flat rock the hard way and my hands just couldn’t grip onto the rock . He’s following me. It’s the first day of camp and Room 16 are rock climbing/hopping. Rock hopping all round a lake called Lake Kiriopukae. I was having so much fun. Then, finally, I swung round. I jumped on to the next rock. It felt like I was running away from fire. That’s how fast I was going (I hate fire). I run round and up a triangle rock. I grab onto the top and.... slip I try again. I reach the top and... pull myself up I’m so pleased. I slide down the other side.
I run up the rock then bounce off it and grab the other one and pull myself up. Yes! I’m the first one up then I slide down the other side. Wow that was bumpy ride down.
I run up a rock and 360 and grab the top (well that’s what I wished). I run to the finish then everybody else comes running. Yes I’m the first person to get an apple and biscuits I sit down but I don’t have a rest because I want more............
Smash! I crack open the egg. The yolk falls out. Then Lily tipped the flour in. Next we poured the milk and grated the chocolate then sprinkled it then ollie mixed it. then we chucked it on the pan and cooked it while it was cooking I thought to myself that looks good good enough to be a winner we finish cook and sprinkle chocolate, butter and maple syrup. then we started to eat our halve the Judges walked over then bam! lily fell off her chair. We crack up. After that they yelled the winners NOOOO!!!!!! We won. They all clap their hands for us.
Then the Judges tell us why we won and it was for our lovely presentation it tasted wonderful and they love the grated chocolate.
“Get comfortable” I tell Josh because theres about two minutes to wait. Later, we’re moving again. I commando crawl my way out. I pull my legs up and out of the hole then line up for the next caves.
Its the next cave where we have to go on my hands and knees. Splash! I slip on to my stomach. Oh no, I fell into a mud puddle. I start to crawl out but then I’m stuck. I’m moving as hard as I can. Whoooosh! I slide out of the mud. Next, I get onto my feet and climb the rest. We walk to where its dry. We’re sitting underneath a overhanging rock. I walk around looking for bugs to scare Sam because he through a mud ball at me. Theres a cockroach. I pick it up by the antennas and throw it at Sam “AAAAAHHHH” he screams. I laugh hes angry and embarrassed! then we move on to the next cave.
We start walking in the cave then it gets lower. We’re crawling on our hands and knees. We pop out of a hole then go down a ladder. We stop and wait for the rest of the class, its a zig zag all the way up. Finally, I reach my destination but I still have to go a little bit longer, its a wee wait, but we reach the end and squeeze our way out. I pause Miss Hill takes a photo click click and I slide out then line up for a biscuit. I race to get my seat at the sandy overhanging rock and I sit down and have a rest. I start asking Crighton what was his favorite part about the caves he liked the last one because it was the muddiest one. Where moving onto the next cave now I’m so excited because this cave had heaps of wetas then we walk in and all I can hear is who farted I have a whiff up my nose WOW!!!! thats a strong scent .
Huh hah huh hah I’m breathing like a dog just been for a 100k run and I’m only halfway I’m coming first then about a third of the way I get passed by Richard (thats Cameron's dad) so I start to speed up a little bit then Cameron’s running beside me he starts walk YES!!! I am beating him I reach the top woohoo About five minutes later I Hear I’m dieing it’s anthony then another five minutes later everybody has reach the top.
“Left right left right”I say to Sam as where paddling through the water I’m having so much fun because kayaking is one of my favorite things to do because it involves water and I love water.
we are just cruising along the water when BAM!!! we get splash we turn around to see who it is its......
Nikita. We start paddling like we have never before. Left Right Left Right then I bring my paddle forward just scoop water onto my paddle then stop and make sure I don’t let go of the paddle. Wooshh!!!!! the water flicks off my paddle we watching her reaction she screws up her face like a prune. We quickly turn around and speed off then cruise for a while we pretend to shot the ducks. We get called in and swap kayak's with people who haven't been then I hope in a kayak with lily because I have to teach her how to row so I hope in and say that you need to have the paddle with the curve to scoop the water.
Bbbbrrrrrrpppppp the whistle go's everyone runs up I'm second onethere but Samuel has beat me but he's in my team so thats okay so I grab a ball and through it Jason "ha ha your out" I say to him. Its Richard and I V.S. Imaan and Teva then bam it's Teva and Imaan V.S. Henry I through the ball at Teva it gets him in the head so he's still in then I start running to get another ball then bam I face plant in to the concert but luckily I have arms because they save me from hit the ground badly But I still hit the ground.