Friday, February 8, 2013

Taupo, One Ski, Splash

WALT choose words that describe a moment for the reader
  • begins in the action
  • present tense (I am, not I was)

  • short, sharp sentences
keyword’s: taupo, one ski, splash

BEEP BEEP BEEP the alarm clock goes I leap out of my bed. I wrestle on my wetsuit It’s a bit of a struggle. We back the boat in the water. My Mum loops the rope through the air to me. “Yep” I shout. Dad guns it and the rope goes taut. I feel the surge go through my arms into my body. The boat rips me out of the water.    I stand up and I stay standing till the waves from the other boat disappear. I am really nervous I start to lift my foot. The ski fall’s off I tuck my foot behind the other one. Everyone cheers! I try to do one hand! and went yes! I wobble and wiggle I lean to the right I I I wipe out. splash! I hit the water.    


  1. Wow Henry! I can see that you are thinking like a writer. You choose onomatopoeia (sound words) to begin and your verbs are strong and precise (loops, surge, rips...).

    I also like how you are using short sharp sentences and punctuating them. Well done!

  2. Cool Henry! Fantastic piece of writing. This shows how passionate you are about your topic. Great start to the year.

  3. Awesome writing Henry,
    It looks like you had an awesome
    time in Taupo.

  4. I really like the part where you wrote about your dad gunning it. That really made me imagine how fast your dad was driving. Great work, Hen.