Friday, February 8, 2013

Taupo, One Ski, Splash

WALT choose words that describe a moment for the reader
  • begins in the action
  • present tense (I am, not I was)

  • short, sharp sentences
keyword’s: taupo, one ski, splash

BEEP BEEP BEEP the alarm clock goes I leap out of my bed. I wrestle on my wetsuit It’s a bit of a struggle. We back the boat in the water. My Mum loops the rope through the air to me. “Yep” I shout. Dad guns it and the rope goes taut. I feel the surge go through my arms into my body. The boat rips me out of the water.    I stand up and I stay standing till the waves from the other boat disappear. I am really nervous I start to lift my foot. The ski fall’s off I tuck my foot behind the other one. Everyone cheers! I try to do one hand! and went yes! I wobble and wiggle I lean to the right I I I wipe out. splash! I hit the water.    

4 comments:

  1. Wow Henry! I can see that you are thinking like a writer. You choose onomatopoeia (sound words) to begin and your verbs are strong and precise (loops, surge, rips...).

    I also like how you are using short sharp sentences and punctuating them. Well done!

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  2. Cool Henry! Fantastic piece of writing. This shows how passionate you are about your topic. Great start to the year.

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  3. Awesome writing Henry,
    It looks like you had an awesome
    time in Taupo.
    WELL DONE

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  4. I really like the part where you wrote about your dad gunning it. That really made me imagine how fast your dad was driving. Great work, Hen.

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